


we do not know what it's like to be in coma

by mm8



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Coma, M/M, Poe-centric, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pre-Slash, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers, Stormpilot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 11:31:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7435992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mm8/pseuds/mm8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe really should have seen that one coming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we do not know what it's like to be in coma

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jiokra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiokra/gifts).



> I've never written Poe or Finn before soooo... *throws up hands in a weird jazz way ta-da motion* Here ya go!
> 
> Written for the 2016 round of not_primetime. jiokra, I hope you like this. I used your prompt: I love Poe visiting Finn in coma.
> 
> This counts toward my gen_prompt bingo card as well. Using the prompt 'science'.
> 
> Title comes from this quote:  
> “We do not know what it's like to be a bat, **we do not know what it's like to be in coma**. we can't even say that we know what it's like to be sleeping. We can say what it's like to be restored to consciousness after sleeping. If there are no dreams during our sleep then the sleeping life is an empty life. We might say of such a life that it's not like being anything. We protect that life on the assumption that come the morning its normal functions will be restored. Suppose it was the case however that such functions were only restored every two days... every eight days... twice a year but only briefly. I assume the point is clear. Actions that end life are irretrievable. If we are mistaken at that point there is no going back.”  
>  -Daniel N. Robinson, Consciousness and Its Implications

He had come to the realization many years ago that losing people you cared about sucked. People never expected something awful to happen to loved ones. They continuously thought and believed that no harm would come to them. That things would simply stay the same.

Poe had learned differently when he was eight years old and his mother died. Just died. One day, his mother was fine. They were flying around Yavin 4 her old RZ-1 A-wing interceptor. It was one of the awesome times she'd fly and put Poe on her lap, letting him take 'control' as they flew around the moon. He remembered her smile as he told he wanted to be a pilot just like her when he grew up.

The very next night she was dead. Just gone. He never really found out why either. His father refused to speak about it to his son to this day. The heartbreak of suddenly losing his wife was too painful. 

It made Poe depressed that he couldn't remember the sound of his mother's voice anymore. He remembered the way she smelled, like timber and fresh rain. It hurt him that he didn't even have any Holograms of her speaking, or piloting. He'd kill to see his mother fly just one more time. 

His mother died twenty-four years ago and was never coming back.

Since then, he'd lost many people in his life. An uncle. The best friend he'd made when he was four years old on Yavin 4. Two really good co-pilots while he was with the New Republic. The list seemed to go on and on. 

He thought that after a while, he'd become immune to death and and pain. Poe was part of a war. He was bound to lose someone close. Many in fact. That's why at some degree, he had to have a heart of stone. 

That didn't mean that he didn't still care about people. Poe had friends. He had a lot of friends. Snap and Jessika just to name a few. And if you counted droids, BeeBee-Ate was his best friend. Some people didn't think BeeBee-Ate counted as friend. Poe insisted that the droid was as fierce and as loyal as any human. He loved all of them. He confided in them and couldn't imagine life without them. But he knew deep down, that someday he might have to say goodbye.

The day Finn barrelled into his life had changed everything. His heart beat faster when he saw the bold StormTrooper. Not that he was damsel who needed rescuing, but Poe was eternally grateful to Finn. 

They instantly had this _spark_ , a chemistry he'd hadn't felt in ages. In their very brief time together while flying in an TIE Fighter, they joked back and forth, and got along get. Hell, Poe was incredibly tempted to ask him out right then and there. Of course then they were shot down, and Poe thought that Finn died and things went to shit pretty quickly after that.

When he met Finn _again_ and _alive_ at the Resistance Base, and wearing his jacket… Poe had to admit he couldn't have been more turned on in his whole life. An attractive man was wearing _his_ jacket. Holy shit.

After that though, the next time he saw Finn the ex-StormTrooper was in a coma at the Resistance Base. 

Poe really should have seen that one coming.

~~~~~~~~~

BeeBee-Ate whirred and beeped at him, his tone gentle. Poe smiled sadly at him. "I know, buddy. I just want to stay a little longer."

Poe looked down at his friend. Finn appeared to be sleeping. Like he'd wake up from a nap at a moment's notice. But he'd been asleep for _eight long days_. The machines beeped every second monitoring his heart, notifying the nurses that yeah, his heart was still beating and everything was fine. Except for being in the whole coma thing. Poe gripped at Finn's hand and squeezed. He'd often wondered if people in comas could hear what was going on around them. That was happened in the books he read growing up. They'd hear their loved ones confessions and pleas at their bedside and just… wake up.

Well, over the course of the past eight days, Poe had done a lot of that. And Finn was still asleep. 

The pilot ran his thumb across Finn's skin. It had dried a little during his time in the intensive care unit. He'd have to remember to get lotion from Jess next time he saw her. Maybe barter something for it? Maybe a food ration or shift that she didn't want. Poe needed to take care of Finn now. There wasn't anyone else at the base to do it. He didn't have any family to come looking for him, and the only other friend Finn had made had left on a mission to find and bring back Luke Skywalker. Poe was all Finn had left.

Poe grunted as BeeBee-Ate forcibly bumped into his leg. "I _know_ , I _know_. It's past visiting hours. We'll go soon enough, okay?"

BeeBee-Ate moaned disdainfully at him, but rolled into a corner sulking.

He felt bad for upsetting his droid friend. He'd have to make it up to him later. Poe sighed. Just one more person he'd owe a favor too.

Poe really wanted to do more than hold Finn's hand. He wished he could reach up and kiss his friend. Similar to what he saw Rey do before she left in the Millennium Falcon. But there were cameras everywhere recording every movement in Finn's room in case he woke up or to capture if any of the staff _tried to be funny_. He was also frightened that if he was caught kissing the unconscious man, no one on the base would take it well. He'd told no one of his sexual preferences and preferred to keep it that way. 

That didn't mean that Poe didn't want to risk everything for him.

"Have you told him yet?"

Poe jumped out of his skin at the sound of the General's voice. He let go of Finn's hand and stood up to salute her properly. 

General Organa rolled her eyes and waved him off. "Stand down, Dameron." She gave him one of her knowing smiles. "You haven't answered my question yet."

Poe flushed under her scrutiny. "I-- I don't know what--"

The General just _glared_. Her 'I am not taking any of your crap right now, start talking' glares.

"I--" Poe sighed heavily, running his fingers through his dark hair. "No. We hardly know each other. I highly doubt that he even is of that persuasion."

"You may not have known each other for very long," General Organa said. "But I noticed that boy stared at you an awful lot. Looked like he wanted to eat you up."

Poe stammered. "Wha-- what?"

The General laughed out loud. "You'll figure it out soon enough, Dameron. C'mon. You should be at your bunk. If I recall correctly you have to be on patrol in a few hours."

Poe and BeeBee-Ate followed her out of the room, the pilot spared one last glance at his friend before exiting and the room switched to night mood.

What Poe missed was that Finn promptly opened his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> For shits and giggles... [here's a worlde type thing of the fic](http://i.imgur.com/8dh7dxA.png).
> 
> * Kudos are amazing and I will never stop asking for them, but getting comments, actual feedback from readers means so much. Taking five seconds out of your time can really make my day.
>   
> 
> * You can follow me on [tumblr](http://mm8fic.tumblr.com/).
>   
> Fic commissions are open for the Star Wars fandom. For more information on commissions or my ko-fi page please go to my tumblr (mm8fic).


End file.
